Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
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