I feel like I'm in dance class right now
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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