Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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