That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
