Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
