What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
