i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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