need another drink. this is the easiest way
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
