does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
