But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
