My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
