the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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