I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
