I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
