My liver just broke up with me...
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize