Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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