Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
