My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
you told grandpa to call you daddy
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
