ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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