I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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