Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird