there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
