The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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