I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
