is your mom at the bar?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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