Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
