sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
