don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
