I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize