WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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