It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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