I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
