why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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