sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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