next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I have feelings that need drinking.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
