Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
