well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i love accidental penises.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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