I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
