We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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