can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
We had to coat check the pizza.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
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