Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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