too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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