I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn off my feet"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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