she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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