And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
