Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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