Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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