I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
