Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
