So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
