I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Randomize
