i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
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