Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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