I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
