At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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