Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Randomize
