Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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